Shalini Singh, originally from Faridabad near Delhi.

Currently working as an Experience Designer. High on individual life.

Entered Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi as an undergraduate in 2012 and studied Electrical Engineering.

Interested in System Design, Imaginations, Renewable Energies, Psychology, Feminism, and Travel.

Writes poems from school time as a hobby.

At 19:

I am named Shalini Singh and these days I pursue my life at Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi (http://www.iitd.ac.in/). I believe that it takes one’s whole life to know completely about oneself! So I consider introducing myself as the toughest task. Still, one can always have facts. So firstly, I really enjoy discovering new things and knowing people. Then, I like reading different perceptions and ideas. I appreciate facts and I am mostly optimistic, I like to be diverse and I, somehow, believe that diversity is the key to sustainability, which is the need of the hour with respect to society in general.

I write a lot; I have lots of different diaries say a poem’s diary, personal diary, weird-incidents diary, wishing diary etc.!! I always like to express and I have discovered that there are ample ways to do so, besides writing. Drawing too is some form of expression of say, some emotion. And perhaps dance too!

So sometimes I dance and sometimes I draw…some other times I study, walk, eat, sleep; usual tasks. I only want to cover my life doing all good things or understand all variances and analyse concepts; and people! These days I also joined some sports! Fortunately, I still have time to discover even more. Sometimes it seems as if I am curious about everything! But that’s only good, and I always wonder that there is still so much to learn and to come-by.

In the nineteen years of my life, I only wonder what happened wrong; I strongly believe everything is for good. I believe in flexibility of one’s thoughts and discourage rigid viewpoints. I appreciate criticism though, prior to different perspectives. I hate predefined conceptions and pretention.

I always smile.

At 23:

I have set myself free. I am no longer evaluating myself or anyone. I feel comfortable with myself maintaining all that happened to me was for good. I moved to a different big city after college. It was a a lovely experience. I am an experience designer now. I love my life, and I motivate people to do the same. I travel, I run, I climb, there is all so much life in me like never before. I keep meeting people, and still like to roam around for no reason.

There is lots of things to come also. Lot of the world I have not seen and of-course all the life I haven’t yet lived – it excites me. I have continued writing, now I write on medium as well because I find design very interesting and so grateful to be working as a designer. It almost feels there can be nothing more I could have asked for in life.

There is a strange peace in my mind, something I am not even used to, but I don’t care and I think its a good thing. It makes me take a lot of risks. Now when something bothers me, I leave it for the time, do my other things, come back. There is so much to do that there is no one thing that I can afford to give too much attention. It also teaches that sometimes we should give time. It is perhaps our greatest asset!

My new roommate had complained that I move in and out too much. Somedays I am repairing my new shoes, I am going shopping, I go out, every other day. I am the opposite of lazy, given that I would want to do it. I love it! I use less exclamations and more hyphens, emoicons? Things do change. :p

I am calm and happy. 🙂

At 27:

I am actually yet to turn 27 and because I write this section every four years, I was excited this time to update you guys. I am married now, newly settles in Cambridge, UK. I am doing my masters here and will mostly start doing a job soon. Last few years were not easy and especially the last one; we all know how greatly the widespread coronavirus changed our lives. I suffered enormous mental stress and depression until I had gone without proper sleep for months, without food and water for days. My parents even thought I was dying. It was very difficult but I did not think anything bad would happen. In such times, it is helpful to have people around who would understand and sadly in my case, it had not happened.

I had moved back to Delhi and joined and multinational consultancy company. I had also started to read a lot of books, doing creative things like flower making (did some videos on my youtube channel). I had met a couple new friends and also spent a lot of time with my family as intended. I also applied for an entrepreneurship development course so it would help me set a business eventually in the city. I dropped the idea of doing an MBA and I also experiment with working as a product manager for a short duration, only to realise I love and I rock at doing design. So I did not go back but accepted an offer from a US based company and that’s when my personal life took a toll.

Initially I thought I only had problem with sleeping because of late night meetings (US time zone) and I thought I would used to the new time eventually. I also started having problems with my stomach and digesting food. I took advice from a lot of sources, visited doctors and eventually settled for doing yoga early morning to get rid of my problem, eating more green vegetables – I even moved houses to ensure I was eating right and travelling less (adds to sitting time). It was this time when one of my very close friends suggested me to take therapy instead after I told her about series of problems I was facing in my life. My parents had also sensed all this and they had strongly opposed my over-working but I really had no choice. They kind of starting hating me also because I was missing most of the times or just indulged in my own work or meeting friends or doing my hobbies. I have not given up on the later even when I had no time because I had no time.

With lockdown, I felt much relieved because I no longer had to travel to office which saved me 3 hrs everyday. I could continue my crafts and I also started cooking, making more flowers and spending more me-time. I also wanted to re-focus on my writing. Although I still had problems sleeping on time. I kept lying in my bed, usually with my phone until 3 am and would maximum wake up at 7 am to do my yoga. I had developed this weird habit of talking to myself and a lot of things came to my mind which I was not able to comprehend. For example, few nights I felt a strange connection with the universe and I would just go into my spiral of thoughts. I would imagine about my dead grandfather and my elder brother who died 20 years ago. I felt they tried to tell me something. The weirdest thing was when I saw my uncle who passed away the same day I dreamed about him and I told my mom. It’s like having a thought about everything, trying to make sense of it and eventually feeling happy. But in reality, it all made no sense. I am planning to write a book about the connection I felt and its all going to be fiction because I have no proof or basis for the truth of the facts I discovered.

There is a lot of personal life details, abuse and unexpected events plus a real suicide attempt in this tale that I want to keep it for another day perhaps since I have already went long over here. Finally I took psychiatrist medication – best therapy was to learn to not care much about anything and of course getting back on life with new goals and motivation and healthy relationships.

Keep happy, keep safe and take care.